The Grief and Gratitude Lodge


•Saturday, February 2nd
•Saturday, May 11th
•August 2nd-4th-Family Style Weekend Lodge
•Saturday, November 9th



The Grief and Gratitude Lodge

The Grief and Gratitude Lodge is place to cultivate a deepening of our capacity to grieve, and thus, to live more fully and gratefully. Our larger cultural climate of mandatory cheerfulness and open contempt for expressions of powerful emotions such as sorrow, despair, and rage ultimately deadens our ability to feel, and erodes our connections with community. Practicing the skill of grieving in the presence of our neighbors, friends and allies allows us to rekindle relationship with our own bodies, our fellow humans, our ancestors, and with the greater Earthly body.  The Lodge explores the intertwining of grief & gratitude, with the heart-filled guidance of Laurence Cole and Nala Walla.

The Grief Lodge uses a simple ritual format:  we sit in a circle and “pass the talking stick” (share personal stories).  We divide up into small groups for deeper sharing.  We drum and sing and dance as we witness the various ways people embody their grief.  This community format is a simple, yet powerful technology for liberating and expanding our innate capacity to feel, to flex and strengthen our “grieving muscles,” and to experience the paradox of holding both sorrow and joy at once.

The ceremony at the heart of our ritual was brought to the USA by Sobonfu Somé from her people, the Dagara of Burkina Faso. She has passed this ritual onto us and has invited us to use it as a starting point as we develop grief literacy as a culture and discover the appropriate formats for our context.

The Grief and Gratitude Lodge has the privilege of being held in the arms of an island forest in the Salish Sea, the traditional territory of Chimacum and S’Klallam native people. 


•RSVP is required for this event & there is a WAITLIST. Space in the Zen Dome is limited, so if your spot has been confirmed and you can’t make it, PLEASE let us know right away, so we can give your spot to someone on the waitlist.

•ARRIVAL: Please plan to arrive between 1 and 1:45 pm. We will begin on time at 2pm, and doors will be closed for the remainder of the event.

•PARKING is limited, so please check the Facebook Event Page and coordinate CARPOOLS as the date approaches.

•FOOD:  For the duration of the Lodge, we are encouraging people to engage in a short fast, or bring light snacks to “tide you over.” Towards the end of the evening, we will break our fast with a simple meal of root vegetables. Filtered water and herbal tea will be made available throughout the Lodge.

•PLEASE BRING a (full) waterbottle, pillow, blanket, and backjack chair if desired. If you feel inspired to do so, please bring items (photos, stones, flowers–anything that is meaningful for you) to add to our community shrine.

•FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE: Please check back regularly with the Grief and Gratitude event page on Facebook for updates and announcements as the date of the Lodge approaches.

A juicy community discussion is ongoing between Lodges. Please join the conversation on topics of Grief, Death, and Initiation.

•DONATIONS ARE WELCOME!!!  The Grief and Gratitude Lodge works hard to keep event fees low, and thus we rely on the generosity of all who support this work through volunteer service, and cash contributions


•General admission to this event is priced to make it accessible and affordable, please pay at the highest level that you can afford to do your part in making this event accessible to low-income people and people of color.  Scroll down to view our BIPOC policy.  Really:  recognizing our privilege and sharing our resources more equitably is an important skill if we are dedicated to village-building and healing.

•The Grief and Gratitude Lodge is offered as part of an emerging, grassroots movement to revitalize the ancient Gift Economy in a modern format. Please note that Gifting is not the same as “Free.” And it is also different than other fee structures such as “Pay What You Can” or “Sliding Scale.”

•By working “in the Gift,” we are declining the conventional market economy arrangement which formally ends our connection once the “transaction” is complete. As author of “The Gift” Lewis Hyde notes: “unlike the sale of a commodity, the giving of a gift tends to establish a relationship between the parties involved.”  This desirable weaving of relationships is why we choose to offer this Lodge in the Gift economy. By participating in this Lodge, we affirm our mutual obligation, which is recognized in turn by the offering of gifts, including the finances needed to run this Lodge fairly, sustainably, and ethically.

•The Grief and Gratitude Lodge is growing to meet the expressed needs of our community for longer and more frequent Lodges, and between-Lodge events. We need your support to do this! In order to ensure the Lodge can be ongoing resource, we are asking that each participant make a Gift to the Lodge that reflects both the value of the Lodge itself, as well as the time and energy invested in organizing, maintaining and building a viable community of skilled grievers.

A good target for your gift would be in the $60-$125 range, or equivalent service offerings, or a combination of both. Those who can afford more are encouraged to contribute accordingly, to help make the Lodge available to everyone. In addition this direct support, the growing gratitude and conviviality engendered by this Lodge also oblige us to “pay it forward” (and outward, inward and onward) as we labor together to circulate our gifts in widening circles. A multi-layered gifting is greatly needed, and greatly appreciated.


In the spirit of micro-reparations for slavery, racism, and the displacement of indigenous people, we offer admission to this Lodge by donation for black, indigenous and other people of color.  BIPOC can choose any amount they are willing and able to offer to the Lodge, as we don’t presume any particular class status or financial situation.

As facilitators of European descent, we recognize our privilege in having the resources to offer a platform for sharing grief work–a privilege and position ultimately gained at the expense of black and indigenous people, past and present. We recognize that we continue to benefit from the legacies of slavery, racism, genocide, and displacement, and acknowledge the pain that still exists from that legacy.  We recognize that this Lodge has the honor of being held on the traditional territory of the Chimacum and S’Klallam native peoples.

We believe in the enormous power of Grief Work to aid in the ongoing process of healing ourselves, our communities, and beyond. We want the work to be accessible to all, especially those who have been disadvantaged to benefit the privileged.  There is BIPOC admission available on our ticketing platform if you would like to register under these terms.  If you are a white-passing person, it may be relevant for you to read this link before choosing this option.

We realize that this policy is merely a gesture towards reparations, and are open to feedback about how this policy can change and evolve over time.  We are listening, and are committed to learning.